Academia, will you not be my Valentine?
By Jasmine Camero (she/her)
Jasmine Camero
Since I could remember, I’ve had a love-hate relationship with academia. Oddly enough, it was the source of most of my stress even as early as elementary school - which is not at all healthy. As I progressed, I did not learn to navigate this stress, but I learned to get used to it, which again, is not healthy. For some reason, despite this constant stress and anxiety surrounding this obviously very hostile environment for me, I still decided to pursue a career in academia. Although I had negative emotions surrounding it, it was something that I was good at and something I was used to so it made sense, at least partially.
I made it through the schooling that I was required to complete, elementary through high school, and still craved more. It was a toxic relationship to say the least. I decided to attempt to stay in school forever and go to college and from there I decided to continue on to graduate school. Here I am now working toward a career in academia. My relationship with academia has improved, especially since as a graduate student I have the room and the freedom to study and conquer the subject matter that is of most interest to me. Thankfully, the math department at Emory has been welcoming, with, in my experience, no traces of competition among students and faculty. This is something that has helped in my journey of removing the unfavorable characteristics of the academic world. It is no longer about grades or any potentially hostile measures of “success”, which is what is true for most stages as a student. It is about me, academically at least.
There have, however, been a lot of positive experiences during my journey in academia. For example, most notably, I met my partner in college. We met as undergraduates, both math majors, conducting our first ever research project in the summer after our freshman year after taking calculus. From here, our professional goals have remained the same and both decided to apply to graduate programs. This is when we faced the two-body problem. If you’re not familiar, the two-body problem is a dilemma that partners face that relates to the difficulty of both individuals obtaining the same position at the same university, or institutions within reasonable distance to each other. Luckily, we both got into the same program at Emory, which we both really loved so this made it an easy decision.
Now, both as first-generation math Ph.D. students who moved from Southern California all the way to Atlanta, we have enveloped ourselves deeply into this world - a world that is still very unfamiliar. It’s been easy for us to get carried away in the busy lifestyle as students, but we make it a priority to put ourselves first and this is something that we both made clear to each other from the beginning. This is something that I don’t think is talked about or emphasized enough. Before being a mathematician, I am a person. I am a person that loves deeply and I care immensely for those who are most important to me: my partner, my friends, and my family. Starting a journey as consuming as a doctoral program, especially as first-generation students, can be difficult to handle and it’s easy to get swallowed by it. I think it is important to emphasize the need to preserve our intimate relationships while we are graduate students. At least in my case, preserving these relationships provides a higher level of companionship and emotion that can’t be replicated. After all, prioritizing these relationships has contributed to my survival in this world. I truly owe it to my family, friends, and my partner for providing me with the love that I’ve needed while I’ve pursued this huge commitment. I will always put that above all else because as much as I enjoy what I do, none of it will ever live up to the affection I feel towards my loved ones. Love really is all you need.
To all those I love: thank you. Will you all be my Valentine?
Jasmine Camero is a Ph.D. student at Emory University studying classical algebraic geometry. She is passionate about building an equitable and inclusive community for underrepresented students in math.