By Govanni Granados

“You just finished your PhD! How does it feel?” is a question I’ve received a lot recently. I instinctively answer that it feels great, but it’s actually more complicated than that. Even though I was eager to graduate and leave West Lafayette, there was a feeling of  melancholy near the end. I spent a significant part of my life in graduate school and I realized that I had become accustomed to being a professional student. With my time at Purdue in the rearview mirror, I’d like to share an abridged version of my experience. I can separate my journey into different phases:

1.Moving to West Lafayette, IN and missing home

I’m a first-generation student with parents from Mexico and Nicaragua. I grew up in a neighborhood called Koreatown in Los Angeles, CA with my father’s extended family living in adjacent neighborhoods. Relocating to Indiana at the end of Summer 2017 was incredibly difficult for me. I was not prepared to move away from everyone that I knew and loved. I also found myself missing everything about my old lifestyle. I missed the food options, the walkability of Koreatown, and even visiting my favorite barbershop. It’s really funny to me now, but at the time, many little things like this made it difficult for me to settle down at Purdue. All of this was on top of feeling like a “minority” for the first time in my life. 

2. Struggling with classes, qualifying exams, and wanting to leave the program

The first few years were awful as I struggled with courses and exams; this only fueled my ever-growing doubt of belonging in graduate school and really, academia in general. Looking back, I was too critical of my mistakes and failures. There was a lot of time and energy invested in preparing for qualifying exams, which were offered twice a year. Not passing them in due time was disheartening, to say the least. I came very close to leaving my program a few times during this period. Deciding to renew my apartment lease was incredibly stressful as it meant financially committing to staying another year in my program. I found great mentorship in Dr. Rodrigo Bañuelos throughout this time. Having the support of a faculty member that exhibited confidence in my abilities and that I could relate to was extremely significant to me. It gave me the determination to pass the exams once and for all. Even though my parents could not entirely understand my predicaments in graduate school, I still had their much-needed support and encouragement from back home.

3. Finding an advisor and passing the preliminary exam

I was finally able to breathe when I finished all of the four required qualifying exams--it took me three years! It was difficult to not feel like I was behind many, if not all, of my peers because it is too easy to compare ourselves. I think this is where I began to fully process that we each have a different journey with unique obstacles. Comparing myself to more “successful” students was a mistake. Anywho, it was also during this time that I expressed serious interest in Dr. Isaac Harris’ research in inverse problems for partial differential equations (PDEs). I have always had an affinity towards analysis and applied math. His research involves many tools from functional analysis and analysis of PDEs, but also incorporates numerical validation of the developed theory. Thus, it encapsulated various aspects that already interested me. Dr. Isaac Harris agreed to have me as a PhD student. Over the following year, I greatly enjoyed learning mathematics which really interested me and this greatly improved the relationship that I had with the subject. About a year later, I finally became a PhD candidate! Shortly after, I began to present my results in many conferences with the support of my advisor. This was immensely helpful for networking and participating in our research community.

4. Job market and soul-searching

Things were under control until it was time to worry about the job market. The entire process was incredibly stressful. I was torn between finding an industry position and pursuing a research Postdoctoral position. I was so torn that I aggressively pursued both options during my last school year as a graduate student. I applied for the NSF Postdoctoral Fellowship and prepared all of the necessary documents for research Postdoc positions. However, I also prepared documents for jobs outside of academia. This was very taxing and had a detrimental effect on my mental health. I could not fathom the idea of finishing my PhD without a job lined up. As a first-generation student of color and the first person in all of my extended family to receive a graduate degree, I felt an incredible amount of pressure to jumpstart my career.

5. Defending my thesis and graduation

All of the main results had already been proven, typed, and proofread by the time I entered the job market. I could not imagine properly preparing job applications while still working on my thesis. Ironically, preparing for my thesis defense was one of the least stressful parts of my PhD journey. I had already signed a job offer by the time I defended my thesis. My parents and sister flew from California to attend my graduation ceremony and they got to see me be hooded by my advisor, which was nice. My family is very proud of me and continues to support me as I get ready for my next move.

As I reflect, when I first moved to West Lafayette, IN, one of the best decisions I made was to seek out mentorship. In such a large department, it was very easy to get lost. Even though I had the support of my family, I am appreciative of the support given by faculty members from my department. I owe much of my success to Dr. Rodrigo Bañuelos and Dr. Rolando de Santiago (during his time at Purdue). I was also very fortunate that my research advisor, Dr. Isaac Harris, also played the role of a mentor.

I am currently in a transitional period between my Ph.D. graduation and a Postdoctoral position in the Department of Mathematics at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and it’s a bittersweet feeling. I’ll miss some aspects of my life as a graduate student at Purdue, but I’m excited and ready to make use of my degree! Thank you for reading my semi-poetic, chronological reflection of my graduate school experience. Cheers!

Govanni Granados is a Nicaraguan-Mexican-American, first-generation, recent PhD graduate in Mathematics from Purdue University. He’ll be joining the RTG in PDEs on Manifolds as a Postdoctoral Research Associate in the Mathematics Department at UNC-Chapel Hill in the Fall of 2024.