M is the Loneliest Letter in STEM, Until it’s Not

Jenna Race

By Jenna Race, Century College @Mrs_Meowmerz

I am in a program called STEM Scholars, which is my community college's chapter of the Louis Stokes North Star STEM Alliance. The program provides support and resources for marginalized, under-represented and/or students of color pursuing a degree in a field of STEM. While I feel like I have been blessed with a great deal of support in following my dreams and pursuing a degree in the mathematical sciences, sometimes I feel like it is a lonely road. I have lots of friends online who are studying math, but I do not know any in person. As far as I know, I am the only student pursuing math in STEM Scholars.

As part of the program, we attend talks, workshops, and events to learn more about our field/potential field, to learn study skills, or to generally benefit us as students. The coordinator of the STEM Scholars Dr. Pfeifer is very mindful to keep an eye out for programming and classes that could be of interest to the group. One day in late March, Dr. Pfeifer emailed me about a conference coming up in a few days that I might find interesting. It was short notice, but I was able to secure a few hours of personal time off and register for the event. I did not know it at the time, but the conference ended up being the Virtual 2021 Spring Meeting of the MAA North Central Section.

Let me pause here and tell you a little about my background:

I’ve been out of high school for 17 years and hadn't been in college since 2012. I wanted to go back to school for a while, but I wasn’t sure there would ever be a right time. You need to understand that I’ve tried this whole college situation a few times before. I could elaborate, but I'll just say this: I have a mental illness that held me back for a long time in a lot of ways.

In January 2019, I enrolled at Century College, the largest community college in Minnesota. My fourth time trying college. Four is my lucky number for a few reasons, one of which is that the number four has a square root that’s an integer. I bring this up not just because I like going off on tangents, but because I had a conversation about this with a woman in the Transfer Office on the day I enrolled at Century. At that time, I couldn’t remember the name for numbers with integer square roots, but I knew there was one, and, in my heart, I felt that it was a sign that things were going to go my way this time. I think the lady was a bit baffled when I told her this, but she was very kind to me and seemed genuinely interested in seeing me succeed.

I enrolled in a College Algebra course, so I learned that numbers with integer square roots are called perfect squares. And I’m sure it seems kind of silly and sentimental, but when I first learned there was a name for perfect squares, I felt like I’d had this breakthrough and it all made sense. Four sides to a square. This fourth time around, it’s my time to shine!! This is perfect!!

Some perfect squares don't start out perfectly, though; they're formed by intention. When polynomials aren’t perfectly square, you can make them perfectly square by this really cool process called 'completing the square.' When you complete the square, you can find the solution(s) to a quadratic equation or get the equation of a circle in its standard form. I know… So cool!

You complete a square by adding numbers to the equation in a specific and calculated way. If my life were an equation, then those extra numbers would be things like hard work, tenacity, dialectical behavioral therapy, and the support of friends, family, and faculty. In this way, the solutions became clear and my life has come full circle. Or maybe full square...

By adding the necessary parts to my equation, I can succeed. My struggles do not define me. I’m not too old, and it’s not too late. I can be a complete and perfect square. It means the late nights spent awake studying mean something. The sacrifices mean something. It means I mean something.

Despite my interest in math, I was not confident I could be a math major, so I decided to major in business instead. One of the requirements for business is College Algebra and that was the class that changed everything. I gained the confidence to study math, I learned the name for perfect squares, and overall, it lit a fire in me that has not been extinguished. I eventually switched majors to math, but that was during the start of a global pandemic.

So at the Spring 2021 MAA North Central Section meeting, I could tell these were my people as soon as I logged in. And a lot of them were even close by. As much as I enjoyed the crowd I felt a bit like a misfit or imposter—I was an undergrad, currently taking precalculus! That is just about that lowest rung on the math ladder, and here I am with a bunch of professional mathematicians. Just to be honest and to figure out what exactly the meeting was about, I introduced myself to the zoom conference. The organizer asked if there were any questions, and I said something like, “I'm not shy so I'll just ask. It's not really a question so much as me outing myself and getting kicked out. I'm Jenna, I'm a student taking precalc, I don't really know what this meeting is about. My professor suggested I show up. Can someone tell me what is going on, what's this about?” The crowd was overwhelmingly welcoming and kind. It was wonderful to be so accepted anywhere, especially among people I aspire to be like. I made friends with a nice person, Tim Chartier, who chatted with me throughout the meeting; I was surprised to discover that he was an invited speaker!

The meeting itself was a collection of talks that I understood to varying degrees. I especially appreciated a talk on math history and the presentation by Tim Chartier on Mathematical Celebrity Look-Alikes (apparently he looks like Brad Pitt). Most of the other talks were fascinating but went over my head. The conference gave me hope that I would one day understand more and that I could be part of a math community.

As soon as I declared my math major in 2020, I went from going to math class on campus to having class via zoom. I have yet to meet any math majors at my school. The MAA conference was so nice because most everyone was from the area. More importantly, I felt accepted. People saw me as not just an undergrad, only talking precalc, but as a future mathematician. That meant a lot.

Jenna Race is an undergraduate math student from Minnesota. When she's not busy doing math or trying to change the world, she's drinking coffee and watching Star Trek.